


The Things We Tolerate

by Wei (wei_jiangling)



Category: Kamen Rider W
Genre: Gen, Shotaro and Akiko are tolerant, Snakes, despite Philip causing them constant strife, research binge, they are a good ridiculous family, weird food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 15:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21340870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wei_jiangling/pseuds/Wei
Summary: Philip is engrossed in his latest research project. Shotaro and Akiko can only go along for the ride.
Relationships: Hidari Shoutarou & Narumi Akiko & Philip
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18
Collections: Another Toku Holiday Special (2019)





	The Things We Tolerate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bobcatmoran](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/gifts).

"Philip, it's time for dinner." 

The words floated through the basement of the detective agency with no response and Akiko breathed a long-suffering sigh. Not that she had expected an immediate response from Philip--he usually was preoccupied with something or other and didn't notice if someone was trying to call him--but it would be nice if he could make getting his attention easier once in a while. She trotted down the stairs, expecting him to be writing notes all over the walls. What she found was him asleep on the couch. 

It would almost be cute, if he had not managed to fall asleep in the most awkward sprawl possible, half twisted around the couch, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. She shook her head. 

"You're going to hurt yourself if you sleep like that," she muttered, before calling to him a bit more loudly. "Philip." No response. "Philip!" She sighed and went to put a hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. "Philip!" Still nothing. She frowned and shook harder. "Philip?" 

A bit more shaking proved that he was passed out as hard as he did when his consciousness was away in Double. But that couldn't be the case right now; Philip didn't have his belt, and she'd just seen Shotaro upstairs. She hadn't thought anything of his weird position at first, but the longer this went on, the more concerned she got. 

She was on the brink of calling Shotaro down or calling emergency services or both when Philip suddenly opened his eyes and untwisted himself to sit up normally on the couch, leaving her to look at him wide-eyed. "You're okay?" 

"There's a type of snake called the eastern hognose," he told her, as if that explained everything. "When it's threatened, it rolls over and pretends to be dead. I think they're very interesting." 

Akiko stared at him, not quite comprehending--or not quite wanting to comprehend--the situation. Philip had been learning about a snake. A snake that played dead. 

"Did I seem dead?" 

Philip had been playing dead because he was learning about a snake. Philip had scared her half to death thinking something was seriously wrong with him because he was learning about a snake. "You were still breathing," she replied flatly, not quite over the shock. 

Philip had the audacity to nod thoughtfully. "I see. I suppose I'll have to work on my technique." 

"You absolutely will not!" she snapped back, finally settling back to her senses and finding a slipper to hit him with. "Never scare me like that again, do you hear me?"

"But-"

"No buts! Now come upstairs and eat like I was trying to tell you in the first place. And don't ever think about _playing dead_ ever again!" 

She took a step away, giving him room to move, and watched him stand up, clearly thinking. 

"I'm sorry," he admitted, "I didn't think it would scare you that much." 

She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Well, as long as you understand," she said, and then walked up the stairs, expecting him to follow. 

Really, he should know better, she thought. But even if he had learned his lesson with that, she was certain this would not be the last time they would hear about hognose snakes, or weird surprises related to them. She was going to have to warn Shotaro. 

\---

"Another package came for you," Shotaro informed Philip with all the strained patience of someone who regularly had to hand over packages that Philip would be obsessively interested in for a week or two and then promptly forget about. He had a very good idea what this one was going to be, too, considering Philip was currently amassing a collection. 

He was, therefore, completely unsurprised when Philip opened the box and gingerly pulled out the shedded skin of a snake. It was red this time, in contrast to the variety of browns, greys, and mottled oranges that already found themselves displayed on the wall. It was, in Shotaro's opinion, not very interesting. 

On the other hand, the look on Philip's face was that of a delighted child opening a present, and the snake skin in his hands inspired a near-incomprehensible amount of wonder, as if it were one hundred percent new and unique and not at all like the 13 others he'd already done this with. Shotaro found it very difficult to be frustrated with Philip when he had that look on his face. 

"Look at its face," Philip said, holding up the snake for Shotaro to see, and his eyes shifted from one face to another. Some of the pieces Philip had found were small or tattered, and this one was no exception. But he would have to admit it was unique in how clearly one could still see the snake's head. Philip grinned as he held it out. "They have an upturned nose that some people think makes it look like a pig. That's why it's called a hognose." 

"I see." He didn't, really. The skin was shriveled up enough that he couldn't tell what the snake's nose would actually look like if it was intact. But he wasn't going to tell Philip that. 

Though after a second, another thought occurred to him, considering he'd heard about the "playing dead" incident, and he tacked on, "By the way, I like your nose the way it is." Philip cocked his head to one side, giving Shotaro a confused look, as if he didn't have a clue what might have prompted that remark. "Just keep it in mind," he muttered, and then headed back upstairs, leaving Philip to decide exactly where this new specimen was going to be displayed. 

\---

"Dinner is served!" Philip announced, setting a plate of nicely arranged sashimi in front of each of his companions, along with a small bowl of soup. He had told Shotaro and Akiko that he would be getting dinner, but he hadn't told them what or why, and now they exchanged a concerned glance with each other. 

"It's not a hognose, is it?" Shotaro asked, looking at the food warily. Philip shook his head. 

"What is it?" Akiko asked. 

"Just try it," Philip prompted, taking a piece from his own plate and putting it into his mouth. It was indeed an interesting taste; this had been a good decision. "It's good." 

The other two exchanged another glance, but then shrugged and did as they were asked. From the looks on their faces, it seemed like they enjoyed it, too. 

"Eastern hognose snakes like to eat toads," he explained, and Shotaro's face contorted as he nearly choked in response. 

"Aren't those poisonous?!" 

"You didn't let me finish. They like to eat toads, but humans shouldn't, so I couldn't try that myself. But toads are a type of frog, and there's a restaurant in a nearby town that makes a rare specialty of frog sashimi." He looked at the concerned and disgusted faces being directed at him. "It's safe to eat, so don't worry." 

"Dare I ask what the soup is?" 

"It's broth made from the leftover parts of the frog." 

"...right." 

The conversation fell away there, and despite the apparent concerns, no one seemed to have an issue with continuing to eat the meal. It was, in Philip's opinion, quite delicious. If toads tasted similar to frogs, then he thought the eastern hognose snake had good taste. 

"Wait." Akiko broke the silence after a few minutes, and Philip looked over at her. "Did you use the agency's funds to buy this?" He nodded, and she continued, "Let me get this straight. You had _fresh sashimi_ delivered from a _specialty restaurant_ in _another town_?" 

Philip didn't like the tone her voice was taking on, but he nodded again. 

"Exactly how much did that cost?!"

In response to this very threatening question, there could be only one response. Philip slid out of the chair and onto the floor, sticking his tongue out. 

"Ahh, I thought I told you not to do that again!"

\---

The next day, the basement wall was free of snake skins. Neither Shotaro nor Akiko ever knew exactly what happened to Philip's collections when he was done with them. On rare occasion, they'd find something from an old obsession stuffed in a box somewhere, but most of the time, they were just mysteriously gone. Probably better that way; if he kept every single thing he'd ever ordered, the basement would be incredibly cluttered by now. 

"I guess you're done with hognoses now, huh?" Shotaro commented when he came downstairs and saw the cleared off wall. Philip nodded, and Shotaro felt a wave of relief wash over him. It was always nice to get to the end of one of Philip's research binges. Maybe he would be able to focus on more important things for a while before the next one. 

"Hey Shotaro, did you know that in Africa, they play a game called mancala?"

...or not. Shotaro scrubbed a hand over his face, preparing himself for another long week.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Bobcatmoran for this lovely prompt! I had a lot of fun writing it. (I also now know more about the edibility of frogs and toads than I ever wanted to) 
> 
> Also, if you have not seen a hognose play dead, it's as ridiculous and adorable as Philip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCPVGstdNjU


End file.
